Stop Looking at Pinterest!

I’m banning Pinterest for the rest of the year. It makes me look bad.

I keep seeing pins for creative stocking stuffers, beautifully organized gift wrap, placements for Elf on the Shelf, and cookies shaped like mugs of hot cocoa.

Seriously, these are sugar cookies perfectly formed into mugs, complete with chocolate chip ganache (for all us non-bakers out there, this is a combination of chocolate and cream melted together slowly), mini marshmallows, and pretzel cup handles. [Click here if you’re up to the challenge! Hot Chocolate Cookie Cups]

Do you think mine would look like that? Uh….no.

The handle would never stick, the marshmallows would melt into oblivion, and my cookies would fall flat as a pancake. The chocolate ganache would end up looking like poo on a platter.

So while someone somewhere is making treats that belong on Cake Wars, I have yet to put those tiny, store-bought chocolate squares into the individual compartments of our advent calendar train. When I finally get to this, the kids will need to eat 10 at one time to catch up.

37 - ban pinterest

It’s the same with the house.

I have a tree with no ornaments because I’m still trying to figure out why 3 branches won’t light up, despite the fact that I’ve diligently replaced every bulb.

I have a painted buffet table in my foyer with no doors or drawers affixed because I still need to finish the hardware.

I have to defrost my mini-van each morning because I have another “project” taking up space in my garage stall, which needs to be done before Christmas.

I’m starting to wonder if our 14-year old cat now has urinary incontinence because I keep thinking I smell pee in random places. I’m fairly confident it’s not from my toddler.

I don’t want to smell pee for Christmas. I don’t want guests to smell pee. I want our home filled with mulberry and cinnamon!

Do you ever feel less-than-all-together? Especially during the holidays?

There are such creative souls, talented artists, ambitious moms out there on Pinterest – doing clever gift wrapping, intricate hair braiding, dazzling table settings, paw print ornaments, and homemade advent calendars.

And I don’t need to do any of it.

Here’s a new post I’m ironically adding to Pinterest. Stop looking at Pinterest!

I’m reminding myself to lighten up. Focus on what I have accomplished. Just to name a few:

  • We had professional family photos taken, and my Christmas cards were in the mail December 8! Unheard of!
  • I’ve regularly interrupted my to-do list to join my toddler at his current favorite pastime – jigsaw puzzles.
  • We’ve made cookies together, and I didn’t judge those with a mound of sprinkles to those with so few you could count them. My son praised me with his mouth full, “You make really good cookies, Mama.” Thank Betty Crocker, sweetheart.

It’s okay if I don’t get to everything, or do things beautifully precise. We all do the best we can, and it’s just the right thing for each of us.

More importantly than what I’ve accomplished, I’m focusing on what I have.

  • My family. When others are spending the holidays for the first time after losing a loved one.
  • A warm house. A comfort I’m more aware of after my interaction with a homeless man recently.
  • My health. I may grumble at cracking hips and sore muscles, but I can get out of bed every day.

We have much to be thankful for. And we don’t need to strive for perfection to realize it.


     “Let everyone be sure to do his very best, for
then he will have the personal satisfaction of
work done well and won’t need to compare
himself with someone else.”
 
                                       Galatians 6:4


So please don’t compare yourself to me, with my sporadically decorated cookies, three-quartered lit tree, and questionable-smelling house. Unless it makes you feel pretty darn good. Then, by all means, go ahead! 🙂

I am adding one new undertaking, though. A tradition that always appealed to me. And I’ve seen it on Pinterest several times.

We open one present Christmas Eve, something I did growing up. This year, I’m giving each family member a special box (including me). Complete with a new pair of warm, fuzzy PJs, a packet of cocoa, and marshmallows. We’ll cozy up by the fire to watch Polar Express, sipping our hot chocolate.

Take that, Hot Chocolate Cookie Mugs. I’m having myself a real one!

 

In case you noticed…this is an extra post this week. Why, you ask? Well, I skipped a couple before. So I thought I would make up for it. Merry Christmas! 🙂

Up Close and Personal

UPDATE: Since writing this post, our local police department shared information that many of these panhandlers are frauds, often turning down job offers or offers to take them to homeless shelters, and consciously choose to live this lifestyle. Although panhandling is legal and I may have fallen for a fraudulent one, I won’t let it dampen what I did. The spirit of giving is still worthy. I’ve also shared this with my son so that he can be aware of the best and safest way to help those in need: give to our local charities, warming shelters, and food pantries. May you continue to bless others through giving.

 

I did something I’ve never done before.

I responded to a homeless man’s plea.

My older son and I were waiting at a stoplight. The traffic was evidence that Christmas is just 2 weeks away. A man with a cardboard sign stood at the corner of my left turn lane. I didn’t make the green light, so I was now stopped directly next to the man.

I admit I didn’t read his whole sign. I tend to avert my eyes.

And that day I asked myself why. Why do we pretend they aren’t there? Why do we assume someone else will take care of it? Why do so many cars drive right by?

Then, my signal turned green, and countless cars behind me were ready to go.

As I drove away, I was itching for action. I asked my son if he saw the man. He had. I asked if he read the sign. He did not.

I told him the words I had caught while glancing at it.

HOMELESS

HAVE CHILDREN

ANYTHING WILL HELP

36 - up close copy

I remember my first trip to a big city. I was warned by someone familiar with the area not to make eye contact with the beggars on the street. That they would take advantage of anyone who responded, that they might even steal or harm someone.

I do not live in a big city. Seldom do we see beggars on the street. There are absolutely homeless in our city – I’m not naïve in thinking there aren’t – but they are often not in view of everyday life.

I am a safety girl at all times. But this seemed like an act of kindness that would cause no risk to me or my child. God must have been speaking to my heart. And it was an opportunity to actionably share something important with my son.

COMPASSION.

[Me: Do you think we should help him?]

[Him: Yes.]

[Me: Really?] I think I still needed a little encouragement.

[Him: Yes, Mom. His kids need help, too.]

[Me: Let’s give him something he could definitely use then.]

We stopped up the road at a convenience store. I wasn’t sure how long the man planned to be there, nor how long it would take him to return to his family, nor what kind of situation he was in. So we grabbed essentials that could be outside and could be used without modern conveniences like microwaves and the fridge. A loaf of bread, jar of peanut butter, bunch of bananas, and applesauce packets. I prayed no one had peanut allergies.

With a small bag of what felt much less than I hoped it would mean for him, we turned around.

We got back in that left turn lane, along with the countless shoppers. I worried he wouldn’t see me because I noticed before that his eyes remained downcast, as though ashamed of being there, holding his sign.

This time, we were stopped about 4 cars up. I rolled down my window and wondered how to get his attention. He was on the move this time, nearing car #2 who he must have thought was going to offer something, but when they didn’t roll down their window, he waved apologetically and started to return.

I waved frantically out my window. He came toward us, and I handed the bag to him.

“Could I give you this?” I asked.

He answered, “Yes. Bless you.”

I added, “I hope it helps.” Because, honestly, it was so very little, I was embarrassed.

He said, “It does. It really does. Everything helps.” I felt miserable for him. How hard it must be to swallow your pride.

Before he returned to the end of the street, he said to me, “It’s people like you that make me proud to be a Marine.”

I teared up and wondered at his situation. It would take extremely dire circumstances to find ourselves begging, wouldn’t it? But wouldn’t we do that for our families if we had no other means? Honestly, homelessness could happen to any one of us. All it takes is a lost job, months of bills that can’t be paid, and no family or friends to bail us out. Any one of us could be in his shoes.

How fortunate for those of us that aren’t. We are truly blessed.

I am thankful for the opportunity for my son to see compassion at work. I am thankful that God must have tugged at my heart to take action this time.


     “Give to the one who begs from you, and
do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.
 
                                       Matthew 5:42


I pray our small bag of food was useful. I pray others offered him something, too.

But more than anything, I pray it gave him HOPE. Hope for tomorrow, for his family, for their future.

That night, my son prayed for the man. Then he looked to me.

[Him: I think he really was homeless, Mom.]

[Me: Why do you say that?]

[Him: Because his coat was torn.]

Bless my son’s innocence. And bless the message I was able to share with him that afternoon. I knew he would not forget the decision we made. I hope the up close and personal experience builds compassion in his heart.

And I pray my heart doesn’t forget compassion the next time someone needs it from me.

Bless all of you who work up close and personal every day with those in need. Bless each man and woman who serves our country. And bless the man who graciously took the small bag of hope I offered.

Keeping Up (Whew!)

I will be age 59 when my youngest graduates high school.

Technically, that’s old enough to be his grandmother. Somebody’s grandmother. I have a friend my age who just became a grandmother. And I have a 3-year old.

Yes, I’m one of those parents. Old.

Hubby and I were married 10 years before welcoming our first child. No particular reason, we just waited. And when we started trying, it took a little time.

In a single day, my age was proven 3 times.

  1. I rose from my office desk, only to stop. I was forced to adjust my hip joint as it went out of whack. And then had to explain the loud pop to my cubicle neighbor.
  2. I had to ask my colleague to blow up the Word doc on her laptop so I could read the text. Otherwise, I would have had to crawl in her lap to see it.
  3. That night, a tiny piece of my front bottom tooth chipped off. WHAT??!? I’m pretty sure the soft burrito wasn’t to blame.

I’m falling apart. Where’s my proof of purchase? Can I trade parts like Wall-e? There’s still so much I want to do. I have a 3-year old, for goodness sake. How am I going to keep up with him?

34 - keep up

Physically keeping up is one thing; mentally is another. I had hoped that with age came experience, wisdom, and insight. But there’s so much about today’s world that I don’t understand. And I’m not sure how helpful my “wisdom” will be when I don’t know what I will end up seeing in this world…and what my kids will deal with.

Let’s face it, there are scary things out there. Of the human-kind. But I’m not treading that water, because that ocean’s too vast and deep.

So let’s look at just one aspect – technology. I can barely keep up with tweets, instagrams, and snapchats. What will it be like in 5, 10, 15 years? (In case you’re interested, here’s a cheat sheet of the top-used social media – http://www.adweek.com/socialtimes/social-media-user-cheat-sheet/501627 – which I’m sure is already out of date!)

Technology brings so much into our homes, and not always what we need or want. At this age, I’m still trying to protect their innocence, give them a sense of security and comfort. Focus on teaching them values, beliefs, and morals to counteract the violence and hatred in the world.

Putting it into perspective, I should worry less about me growing older, and more about the outside world that is changing minute by minute.

I’m pretty sure my kids will forgive me if I can’t run around the bases without gasping for breath. I also hope they show patience as they try to teach me how to use the latest technology…maybe my new ApplePants where I surf the web with pocket sensors and view through a transparent eye patch. Just saying.

It’s not that far off. I read about a new smart garment that takes your measurements and uploads it to a website to ensure you’ll order the clothing size you need. It’s called LikeAGlove. Hopefully, it doesn’t talk, too. As you’re surfing a trendy shopping site, click on a pair of capris that look fabulous on the pictured model, and hear from your SmartPants, “Oh, honey, you’ll never fit into those.” 🙂

I can’t count on keeping up with technology. What I can count on is keeping up with my kids…through my heart. What will matter is how well I listen to their worries, how warm my hugs are, how much I care about what’s happening in their lives – and how the world impacts that – and how I securely plant them in God’s love.

We have no idea what the future holds. But God does. There is good around every corner of bad. He won’t give up on us, so I won’t give up on him. I must rely on him for the wisdom and truth I – and my kids – will desperately need as times change.


     If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God,
who gives generously to all without finding fault,
and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you
must believe and not doubt, because the one who
doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed
by the wind. 

                                       James 1:5-6


In the meantime, I’m connecting to my busy boys’ hearts through play. I’m building (and crawling under) tents in the living room, riding bicycles up our inclined driveway (and welcoming going down), and dancing barefoot in the living room to the soundtrack of Home (despite my toddler stepping on me).

I’m getting in as much playtime now as I can. Before my pants tell me to get my butt off the floor because I’ll crack a hip!

Date With My 8-Year-Old

Some days I’m desperate for some ME time. Are you?

Last weekend, I had reached my limit. I had two full days of a power struggle with my toddler. No, I don’t want to pick up my cars. No, I’m not going to take a nap. No, that’s not the way it works, Mama.

He knew better than I did about…everything. He sought control with his brother, too.

Here was my text to hubby that afternoon.

| If it’s raining and you can’t do the lawn tomorrow, I need to get away. |

His answer was simply,

| Sure. I work in the AM. |

He must have sensed my desperation.

I started to plan my afternoon, with a bit of glee, I’ll admit. What should I do? Get a pedicure, a massage, peruse the B&N aisles for a new book, go shopping. So many options – and only one afternoon! Who knew when I’d get this chance again?

And that’s when the guilt started to set in.

32 - date night

Does that happen to you? As much as I want – and need – some time to myself, I feel bad about ditching the kids. I love them so much, so why don’t I want to be with them? Why am I focused on myself? I don’t do near enough fun stuff with them. So often it’s just Mom doing chores and crossing off the To-Do list. No wonder they get as cranky as I do.

But I couldn’t let the opportunity slip by – it was too rare.

So I thought, How could I get some time away without the guilt? How could I still make the best use of this free afternoon?

I had a quick answer. I gave up my chance at reconnecting with myself and chose to reconnect with someone else. Someone who probably needed some ME time as much as I did.

My oldest son.

He gets the short end of the stick, too. In terms of my attention. A toddler has different, more immediate needs. For example, part of every day is ruled by his naptime, which doesn’t always go smoothly. Older brother has to roll with it.

I couldn’t remember the last time my oldest and I just hung out together. That was bad. Because he’s awesome to hang out with, and I realized I missed one-on-one time with him.

So my free afternoon turned into a “date night.” First, we went to the mall – a place we seldom go. We had our favorite grilled chicken at Charlie’s, a yummy Orange Julius, and miracle of all miracles, I had the chance to shop for clothes. You may think this would be torture for my son, but he actually used to be my best shopping buddy. Plus, he has a love for shoes. 🙂

He was the most pleasant and patient I’ve seen in months. He gave me honest advice on outfits, encouraged me when he could tell I liked something, and never complained about “just one more store.” This could have something to do with his getting a new pair of shoes, but honestly, I got more out of the deal than he did.

After shopping success (and running low on funds), I decided to get him off his feet and suggested a movie. We went to see Pan, and it was the perfect way to end our day. Popcorn and chocolate. Hugh Jackman and flying fairies.

And…he was a great date. Didn’t even fall asleep during the movie. Unlike some dates I’ve had over the last 18 years. 🙂

It was exactly what WE needed. To relax together – no deadlines, no piles of chores, no extra opinions, no naptime or frequent potty stops. We could just enjoy each other’s company and have some fun. And yes, he swore he enjoyed it. I kept asking.

My husband had a great “date” with our toddler, too. They played games, read stories, watched a movie, and giggled. Of course, my little devil would switch to his normal, sweet self for Dad. Now Dad thinks I’m nuts.

When you give a little, you gain a whole lot more. Giving up my free night alone was the best decision. I gained so much more enjoying quality time with my older son.

Speaking of gaining more, I heard my husband thanking our toddler for such a great night together. But my ears perked up when he added, “Should we do that every Saturday night, just you and me?”

Wait, what? Did you seriously just offer one night a week?

YES! Date nights rock!

Can I Just Take a Shower?

How long have you gone without a shower? Go ahead, admit it. It’s safe here.

Okay, I see you need a little encouragement. I’m not accusing you of being unclean, nor am I confessing to a life of grime.

And some of you may be saying, What? I shower every day. Yes, I shower regularly, too. But I’m NOT talking about a 5 to 10-minute hop-in with a dash of soap and sprinkle of water. I’m talking something more.

I’m talking a decent shower.

The one where I get to shave – everything that needs shaving – and tenderly glide the razor for a smooth finish rather than slap it down like a potato peeler.

Where I use shampoo AND conditioner, and the conditioner sits long enough to actually do its job.

Where I have enough time to sigh at the warm, watery massage at my back.

Where the mirror fogs up even with the fan turned on.

31 - shower

Honestly, I thought this would no longer be an issue once the baby stage was over. But it’s still here. And I’m not sure why, except that there’s too much to do in too little time. And before I know it, I’ve fallen asleep again during storytime.

I used to even take a bath now and then.

Oh, sorry. Do you know what a bath is? No, it’s not the thing you give your kids where half the water is dispersed by rubber toys. Or the washcloth serves more as a boat launch than a cleaning tool. Unless they’re cleaning the sides of the tub, of course.

I mean something quite different – a bath for YOU. I remember days where I could take a bubble bath. Sometimes I even lit candles. Jeesh, that’s just a fire hazard now. I’m not sure I even own real candles.

Funny thing. I found this poem I wrote years ago – ironically, even before I had kids.


Escape
Is the second door on the right
of the upstairs hallway
A slab of wood
keeps the world locked out

Work and home
yanking me in two directions
so I run the water
to pull me aside

A dripping faucet
drowns my children’s whining
Raspberry bubbles
replace the litter box stench

A flick of my finger
sends a ripple across the tub
and I wish my life’s course
were so easy to change

I can be free
in this warm cocoon
I can restore my soul
with the rise of the steam

I bless the woman
who invented the bathtub
Escape will always be
the second door on the right
of the upstairs hallway


With wishful thinking, we included a whirlpool bathtub in our newly remodeled master bath last year. Needless to say, my kids have used it more than I have.

Let’s face it. We get the short end of the stick at times. Everyone else’s needs come first. Then mine, if there’s something left. Like enough hot water for a decent shower.

Here’s something to consider.

How well can we take care of our family if we don’t take care of ourselves?

A friend shared this with me when I was sick, still going to work, still trying to do all I normally do. She reminded me that I wasn’t doing anyone any favors taking poor care of my family because I was in poor health myself.

So even though a shower is a small thing, small things can make a difference.

And then there’s a big thing. Taking care of ourselves includes letting God in so he can help care for us.

To be honest, God ends up at the bottom of the list, too. How often do I put His needs first? Like His need to connect with me.

I should be reading a passage from the Book instead of checking Facebook. I should be finding quiet moments long enough to give him my thoughts, my fears, my thanks.

I do pray often, but it’s usually in passing. Like when I’ve avoided a car accident with quick reflexes – thank you God for looking out for me. Or when we hear an ambulance siren – please God, help them get there in time. It’s during mealtime or bedtime, interspersed with my kids’ innocent words about having a good day at school or work.

The times I do focus on prayer on my own, random thoughts distract me – a bill I forgot to pay, a button that needs sewing on my coat, a birthday card I need to get – and steal my attention, like a dog seeing, Squirrel!


     He is a rewarder of them
that diligently seek Him.
 
                                       Hebrews 11:6


We should be seeking him, because he can meet our needs. He will take care of us…but we need to let him in.

Now that I think about it, who’s to say the shower can’t be my time of prayer?

Aha! The next time I want that decent shower, I think I’ll announce to the family:  “I’m pretty sure God needs me to come clean. I’ll be unavailable for the next 25 minutes.”

Dare I say…I’ll be taking a bath. 🙂

The One Four One

~ Friends & Family ~ Food & Wine ~ Words about living life in a small town out in the country on The One Four One ~

charmandgrithome.wordpress.com/

Furniture makeovers, vintage treasures, gathering in my "soul shed", and teaching everyday women to DIY.