I thought I would explain my blog name. When his sibling arrived, my first-born had his times of feeling less important. Despite our attention to individual “dates” with him, more hugs & kisses, and involvement in school. There’s no avoiding it. Those feelings are just going to be there. It’s normal.
He said his brother gets more attention. I asked him what he meant exactly by that. Eventually, we got to the crux of it – the little one got more mushy, giggly, lovey-dovey stuff. This felt like more or better attention to my 6-year old. Okay, bring on the gushiness!
We devised a plan. When either of us felt the need for a bit of extra love, we would speak our secret code words: Butterfly Heart. Without having to express the need, those words simply meant, “Stop what you’re doing. I need an extra kiss and hug.”
Butterfly is for Kiss – a light touch of lips like the wisp of a butterfly’s wing. Heart is for Hug because holding each other brings our hearts closer together. Sappy? Maybe. Purposeful? Yes. Beneficial? Heck, yes. Who couldn’t use an extra hug and kiss?
Before writing this blog, I asked my now 8-year old the following.
- [Me: Do you think butterflies have hearts?]
- [Him: Why are you asking?] I guess our family always wants to know the “why” behind things… 🙂
- [Me: I was just thinking about it. I was curious what you thought.]
- [Him: I think everything has a heart. God wanted to make everything have love inside it.]
Indeed He did!
Whoever does not love does not know God,
because God is love.
I John 4:8
So in my journey to be a better Mom, these words are a reminder. After I step on the same blue and yellow Hot Wheels car for the seventh time, I find a bagful of goldfish spilled beneath the couch, and my son’s wash basket is full of clean clothes, there are two things that matter most. My children are precious, and all they really want from me is love.
Heart Monitor: Day 3 , the yell-free zone is still going strong! And not just according to me. Tonight, after I asked him how I’m doing 3 days later, my son verified with a big kiss and hug (butterfly heart), “You’re doing great, Mom!”
BTW – After a bit of web surfing, I discovered butterflies, and other insects, do indeed have hearts. Who knew? http://www.kidsbutterfly.org/faq/general/13
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Butterfly Heart 
First off I want to say wonderful blog! I had a quick question which I’d like to ask if
you don’t mind. I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your mind before writing.
I have had a tough time clearing my mind in getting
my thoughts out. I do take pleasure in writing
however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be lost just trying
to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or hints? Thank you!
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Thanks for the kind compliment, Patsy! For me, my brain seems to be constantly writing. My most prevalent time is at night once I’m in a restful state, yet my brain won’t shut off and I have insomnia. Often, I get up to write. I would not recommend this. 🙂 If I feel I’m going to lose a well-thought phrase, I’ll write it on a piece of paper. But turning on the computer blue screen will only wake you up more. Most times, my writing starts with an image in my head, or something funny/interesting my kids say, which I also write down to expand upon later. I tend to need to write amidst the chaos, so I just do. (Nap times are also helpful.) But I would tell you to write when the ideas flow. If it’s not flowing, just give it time. Never force it. It will only frustrate you. So, write yourself notes when things pop into your head if you can’t write them out fully, and sometimes just writing anything at all will take you somewhere. And don’t feel like you always have to start with the beginning. Sometimes my thoughts start in the middle or even at the end. Hope that helps!
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Thank you so much for visiting and for your kind words!
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